Our Sacrifice
by Lady Cosmos
Summary: How far would you go for the one you love? (Ken+Omi, YoujixOmi)*Complete*
1. Default Chapter

Authors Notes: 

I needed to get these out before the fic so a few things would be explained.  First, this is a story questioning how far one would go for the person they loved.  I don't want to say anything else lest I spoil the fic.  The other things I wanted to say was actually concerning the fic.  Omi's part takes place three years after Ken's.  Weiss has been reinstated for a short period and that's why Ken is there.  Also, Omi's part takes place between contracts for Ken.

I hope everyone will enjoy the story.  I had a lot of fun writing it and have become really attached to this story.

Oh! And, if you have the ability to, Sarah Mclochlan's song Possession (acoustic version) really helps set the mood for this fic.  So, if you want that added effect, listen to the song while reading ^_~ Ok…I'm out.

           ~~Lady Cosmos

After Notes:

I've been in a bad mood lately and feeling just very horrible overall. Nothing seems to be working out. So, in an attempt to make myself feel better, I'm posting this. Feedback is appreciated.


	2. Ken

_            The night was slightly cool; the grass was irritating as well.  Ken and Omi lay side by side, staring up at the sky.  Barely a word passed between the two, each content with the friendly silence.  Every now and then, one of them would point out a particular constellation or star just to have the other boy's attention, if only for a moment.  Ken stretched leisurely beside Omi, eyeing the boy carefully.  Turning his gaze back to the sky, Ken placed his hands behind his head._

_            "Ne, Omi." He began, careful not to watch the boy._

_            "Hmmm?" Came the lazy reply._

_            "Ya know, I've always had this strange desire to know what it'd be like to kiss you." Ken waited patiently, anxiously for the response.  Omi said nothing.  Glancing over, the brunette found Omi still gazing at the sky.  Before Omi could notice him looking, Ken quickly turned his eyes back up to the stars._

_            "So, can I?" He pressed hesitantly._

_            "Un." Was the soft reply.  Slowly, carefully, Ken pushed himself off the ground so his face was above Omi's.  The two boys stared at each other for a moment before Ken tentatively lowered his face so his lips were barely touching Omi's.  Emboldened, Ken pressed his lips to Omi's more forcefully, intensifying the kiss for a brief moment.  The kiss was short; Ken pulled away to search Omi's face for any kind of sign.  The boy's eyes were closed, lips barely apart as he panted slightly.  Ken licked his lips and sat back to watch Omi._

_            They watched the sky for a bit longer, returning to their previous silence.  After a few minutes, Ken shifted and turned to face Omi._

_            "Ne, Omi."_

_            "Hmmm?" Came the reply, just like before._

_            "….Can I do that again?" Omi turned his head slightly and caught Ken's eye.  Ken forgot to breathe for a moment as Omi's eyes caressed his face.  Letting out a soft sigh, Omi returned his attention to the sky._

_            "Un."_

_            Heart beating frantically in his chest, Ken leaned down to capture Omi's lips in a kiss once more._

            Ken's body jerked suddenly, bringing him back to the present. People were chatting loudly around him; some were saying their good-byes, others were anticipating the journey ahead. The loudspeaker was already announcing the boarding of all the remaining passengers. Ken gazed out the window a moment longer before reaching down for his duffle bag. The crowd was pushing and jostling him as he waited for his turn to board the plane. Once the ticket stub was returned, Ken held it tightly in his hand; as if he was afraid it would disappear. The wait in the terminal seemed an eternity. Glancing back, Ken searched the crowd for a familiar face, hoping that, just maybe, he would be given a reason to stay behind.  
  


        His heart caught in his throat for one moment as a blonde head flashed by. Stopping for a better look, Ken strained his eyes only to find that the blonde head belonged to a woman also boarding the plane. Holding back a sigh, the brunette turned around and continued onto the plane. 

           The wait for take-off wasn't too bad. The only disturbance to Ken was when his traveling partner sat down beside him. Ken smiled kindly at the middle-aged woman; she looked like a kind woman with wrinkles around her eyes, grey hair and a constant smile on her face. She took an instant liking to Ken and immediately began explaining her travel plans. It gave him something to think about for a while; gave him a reason to forget his own incentives for leaving Japan.  
  


        The woman was going to visit her grandchildren in China. She hadn't seen them before and had never even expected to have one so soon, not to mention four. But, she considered it a blessing and looked forward to seeing her family. What about Ken? Was he going to see family? 

        No, he wasn't going to see family. Ken let his gaze drift back out the window, signifying his end of the conversation. The woman nodded her consent but continued chatting. As the plane took off, Ken found himself listening to his companion less and less; his thoughts drifted back to his own reasons for leaving. Had he made the right choice? Of course, there hadn't been much of a choice for him to make. But maybe, he questioned himself, if he had tried a little harder? Maybe then he wouldn't be on his way to China, alone. The cabin light dinged on at some point during the flight, snapping Ken out of his daze for one moment.

            Jadedly, Ken let his head rest on the window as his eyes slipped shut.

_            The coolness of the sheets contrasted greatly to the heat of the bodies beneath them.  Ken stretched lazily as he curled further beneath the covers, contently caught between sleep and consciousness; Omi lay next to the brunette.  The moonlight spread across the room and cast everything in a light glow.  Complete silence filled the room; until Omi broke it, calling to Ken softly._

_            "Ken-kun?"_

_            "Mmm?" Came the lazy answer._

_            "Tell me you love me." Yawning loudly, Ken turned to face the young blonde, blinking owlishly at him._

_            "I love you."_

_            Omi didn't move.  Ken eyed the boy for a moment, looking for any sign of a response.  Shrugging slightly, Ken slid back under the covers, stretching in comfort.  Just as he was settled again, Omi spoke up once more._

_            "Say it again." Raising himself on his arms, Ken glanced at Omi once more only to find him staring at the ceiling.  Not knowing what to do, Ken lay on his side, keeping his head propped on his hand so he could watch Omi._

_            "I love you, Omi." Ken replied, unsure of himself.  Omi nodded slowly as if agreeing to what Ken had said.  The blonde tucked one arm beneath his head as he turned away from Ken._

_            "Thank you." Strong arms slid around the smaller boy's waist, pulling him against Ken._

_            "Omi, I love you." Ken whispered silkily and meaningfully in Omi's ear.  Omi tensed in Ken's arms for a moment, pushing away just enough to look him in the eye._

_            "What?"_

_            "I love you.  And I'll tell you that whether you ask me to or not." Leaning down, Ken placed a chaste kiss on the blonde's forehead before settling under the covers once more.  Omi hesitated a moment before relaxing into Ken's embrace._

_            "Thank you."_

            The rattle of a cart woke Ken up.  He rubbed his eyes, trying to keep his hands from shaking too noticeably.  The dream had been too vivid; Ken could almost feel Omi pressed against him.  After taking a few calming breaths, Ken started eating.  As his meal was revealed, he grimaced; airplane food certainly wasn't gourmet.  The cabin lights dimmed as the in-flight movie began.  The meal was finished quickly and soon the old lady engaged Ken once more in a one-sided conversation.  Ken listened half-heartedly, nodding in all appropriate places, asking questions at the right time.

            The flight seemed to wear on the travelers again.  Soft, rhythmic breathing alerted Ken to the fact that the woman had fallen asleep once more.  Thinking the idea a good one, the brunette rested his head against the small traveling pillow once more.  As soon as he closed his eyes, images of Omi and the flower shop jumped to the front of his mind.  Frowning slightly, Ken shifted in his seat, his head searching for a more comfortable position.  He gave up once he realized that sleep was not coming and there wasn't much to do now that it was eluding him.  He didn't feel like paying for some headphones and hadn't brought anything with him.

            That was a lie.  He had brought one thing with him.  Almost absent-mindedly, Ken toed the bag underneath the chair before him.  Even now he was reprimanding himself for being weak enough to bring it.  But, for some reason, he couldn't leave it behind.  Glancing quickly at his companion, the soccer player reached down and quickly rifled through the contents of the bag.  His fingers closed around the edge of something cold and a picture frame was soon pulled from the bag.  Once more, Ken glanced around him, protectively holding the picture to his chest.

            Sure that there were no prying eyes, he slowly pulled the picture away so he could look at it.  Dully, Ken's head hit his seat.  Staring at him from the picture were himself and Omi.  Didn't they seem so happy back then?  Omi was leaning back against Ken's chest while Ken had his arms wrapped around the boy.  A wistful smile graced Ken's face as he let his eyes shut, holding the picture close to him.  He could see everything so well.  And it hurt.

_            The door slammed open, the bell tinkling madly.  Caught by surprise, Youji's elbow slipped off the counter he had been leaning on, nearly causing his head to hit the surface._

_            "What they he-" The blonde trailed off as he watched Ken look around the shop in a hurry, barely pausing to catch his breath._

_            "Where's Omi?" Shoes squeaked across the linoleum as Ken nearly ran to the backroom; he didn't even pause to wait for Youji's response, "Omi!" _

            _The door to the back room sprang open as Ken skidded to a halt.  Omi's muffled response was Ken's guide past the rows of materials.  The boy was bent over an arrangement, meticulously placing the flowers together.  Ken took a moment to pause and catch his breath, his fingers clenching more tightly around the envelope in his hand.  Stepping closer to the work table, Ken reached out and grabbed Omi's hand, effectively startling the younger boy._

_            "Ahhh-wha…Ken-kun!" He stammered, a blush rising to his cheeks rapidly as he looked around, "What-"_

_            Ken cut Omi off, pulling the boy into a deep kiss within seconds.  Ken's arms wrapped around Omi's smaller body, pulling him close; holding him possessively.  Omi's response was a little belated, but was given with as much enthusiasm as Ken gave.  Once they parted, Omi plucked at the letter in Ken's hand while Ken worked on kissing and nipping at the blonde's neck._

_            "Ken-kun, what's this?" Omi asked as he began to read._

_            "A letter from…Chinese national…recruitment." The buttons to Omi's shirt opened under Ken's fingers.  Omi gasped as Ken's lips trailed down the exposed skin; one hand massaging Ken's head._

_            "What…what do they want?"  Ken paused to rest his head against the blonde's stomach._

_            "They want me.  They want me to play for them." The paper floated to the ground as Omi's arms wrapped around Ken._

_            "That's great!  You'll get to play again!" Ken laughed and buried his face in Omi's stomach for a moment, sharing his joy.  Ken's hands ran up the boy's back, making Omi arch at the touch, "Ahhh!"_

_            The door to the back room slammed shut, startling both boys.  Moments later, Youji appeared before them, reaching casually for some paper._

_            "You should stop molesting Omi, Ken.  He's too young for that." Despite the joviality of Youji's words, there was a bitter and jealous glint in his green eyes.  He left, waving the two off.  Ken glared at the man's back._

_            "Well?  What do you think?"_

_            "I think this is great, Ken-kun.  You get to play soccer again." The blonde bent over and placed a quick kiss on Ken's forehead, his fingers threading through Ken's dark locks._

_            "I have two weeks to tell them.  I'll probably call them in a day or two, not to seem too eager.  And I'll see if I can bring you with me.  I don't know if they'll have a problem with it; I hope they don't.  Then, after a few months…" Omi interrupted_

_            "Ken-kun, I can't go with you." Ken's smile remained on his face, though it was a bit forced._

_            "Oh?  You…you can't?"_

_            Omi shook his head, "Kritiker still needs me.  Even if Weiss is disbanded, I still work for them.  Plus, I still need to finish school.  That's nearly another year."_

_            Looking down, Ken gently pulled the letter from Omi's fingers and folded it up._

_            "Well, it's true that you do have school.  Forcing you to leave would be stupid.  It's not like I've accepted the offer, though.  It's not like I have to go." He wasn't going to accept.  Omi's eyes flitted in the direction Youji had left._

_            "Ken-kun," The blonde knelt beside the soccer player, lifting his head up and stroking his face, "You don't have to turn it down right now.  You still have two weeks to decide.  Why don't you think about it first?"_

_            Ken stared into Omi's eyes for a long moment, searching for a quick answer.  Not finding anything, the brunette nodded and allowed Omi to tuck the paper into his pocket._

            Five points for the landing, Ken thought acidly as the plane bounced into the terminal.  The aisle was crowded as everyone fought to get off first.  Ken waited patiently, sticking the picture back in his bag with great care.  There were finally enough people gone that leaving the plane wouldn't be such a fight.  Wincing as he stood, Ken tossed his duffle over his shoulder and casually made his way off the plane.  It was getting off the plane that was the biggest test.

            There were people everywhere; most seemed to be Chinese or Japanese.  There was such a clamor as each person fought to be heard over the noise of so many voices and languages.  It was simply amazing that anyone found who they were looking for.  But there was no one that Ken knew.  No one special was waiting for him; no one was there to greet him with a smile and hug.  Gulping, the brunette stepped out of the terminal and into the waiting area.

            After about twenty minutes, the area cleared enough for Ken to see a man holding a sign with his name.  Snorting at the cliché, Ken walked over and introduced himself.  There was the exchange of how do you do's and handshakes.  Did Ken have any luggage?  Well, yeah.  Not much though.  There wasn't much he wanted to bring, the brunette thought calmly.

            It was another thirty minutes before the luggage was collected and they were on their way out.  As Ken helped load his bags into the van waiting for them, he couldn't help but let a genuine smile tug at his lips.  It was finally happening.  Tomorrow, he would meet the coach of the Chinese national team and within another few days, he would be playing once more.  It still seemed too good to be real.  He would be playing in bigger stadiums now; traveling more and visiting new countries.  Playing against the best teams the world had to offer.  Stifling the desire to laugh, Ken hopped in the van and watched the scenery as they drove away.

            But, as all good things must end, the excitement of living his dream must end.  Nothing was familiar to him.  And while it was a small comfort that it soon would be, that's all it was; a small comfort.  He knew no one or anything in this place.  What if it turned out to be the wrong decision?  Would he still be able to play as he had back in J-League?  The questions and uncertainties were enough to overwhelm anyone; and Ken was no exception.

            Shutting his eyes tightly, Ken rubbed his face as if forcing himself to rest.  Surely everything would turn out fine.  Omi had believed that, so it had to be true.

_            "Omi?  Omi!" Footsteps rang in the shop as the door slammed shut behind Ken.  He climbed the stairs to the apartments slowly with his hands shoved in his pockets.  Listlessly, Ken moved from room to room, checking each for the small blonde.  Ken's search ended when he found Omi in the kitchen, staring at the mug of something in his hands, "Omi?"_

_            The boy's head jerked up suddenly, his eyes widening when they landed on Ken, "Ke-Ken-kun!  What are you doing here?" Ken watched Omi's eyes darted about the room before resting once more on the mug in front of him._

_            Ken ran his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath before speaking._

_            "Well, uhhhh…it's about that recruitment.  I reached my decision and…"_

_            "It's only been three days, Ken-kun." The blonde replied blandly, letting his bangs cover his eyes, "Are you sure you don't need more time to think about it?"_

_            "No." Ken moved and reached out to brush the hair out of Omi's face.  Omi pulled away from Ken's touch as if he had been burned.  His hand hung in the air for a moment before he retracted it quickly.  The chair scraped against the floor as he fiddled with it, clearing his throat, "I don't need anymore time.  Omi, I've decided…"_

_            "Hey, you two." Ken gritted his teeth as Youji sauntered into the room, quickly pulling something from the fridge.  Omi tensed as the older man entered the room and seemed to be caught between deciding to leave his chair and stay in it.  Casually, Youji approached Omi and lifted the boy's face.  Ken's grip tightened on the chair, his knuckles turning white.  Youji bent down to place a not too chaste kiss on Omi's lips, "I have dinner reservations for tonight.  I'll come get you later."_

_            The silence in the room was strained once Youji had left.  Ken couldn't find anything to say; even if he did, he suspected it wouldn't have made it past the lump in his throat.  Finally, Ken swallowed and found the nerve to speak._

_            "O-Omi," The name came out barely a whisper, "What…what was that?"_

_            Omi didn't answer; his shoulders trembled under Ken's gaze._

_            "Omi," The brunette's voice was slowly returning, "What is going on?"_

_            Wiping his face quickly, Omi stood and leaned against the wall, looking out the window, "The, the other night, Youji-kun and I…I'm with Youji-kun now, Ken." Omi paused for a moment before continuing, "He's been talking to me about it for a while now.  And I've just decided that I want to be with him."_

_            "Why?"_

_            "Because, I want to." Omi rested his head against the window as he continued, "What was between us, it wasn't real, Ken-kun.  We both know it and we both know it wouldn't have lasted long anyway."_

_            "I-I guess you're right." Ken's fingernails dug into his palms.  Blood trickled down his knuckles, dripping slowly onto the floor, "But, you're always right so I guess that isn't a surprise."_

_            Omi's head whipped around at Ken's words.  Both boys stared at each other for a moment.  With a dry laugh, Omi turned to look back out the window._

_            "Well, now you can go to __China__ like you wanted." A bitter laugh resounded in the kitchen as Ken replied._

_            "Yeah.  I guess you're right, again.  I wouldn't want to stick around any more anyway.  There's nothing here that means anything to me now." With those words, the soccer player turned on his heels and left the room.  Ken heard Omi's knees bang against the floor dully.  It didn't stop him from continuing on to his room and closing the door._

            The bed was soft.  The whole room was nice; a lot nicer than what he had used to live in.  In a few weeks, or months, the place may even feel like home.

            'What have you gotten yourself into, Hidaka?' The brunette grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it across the room.  Growling, he fell back against the bed and stared at the ceiling, 'What are ya thinking?  This ain't ever gonna be home.'

            It was funny how attached you could get to something; or someone, Ken corrected mentally.  Blinking rapidly, Ken sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees as he surveyed the room.  It would do for now.  He'd probably get something smaller later; but for now, it would do.  Reaching down for the duffle he had traveled with, Ken pulled the bag closer to him wearily.  Slowly, he opened it once more and, even more slowly, dug around for the picture.

            A moment later, Ken was staring at the picture while lying on the bed.  He took a shuddering breath before twisting on to his side and ever so carefully placing the picture on the bedside dresser.  Propping his head on one hand, he surveyed the picture's new position.

            "Well, I'm following my dream now.  I'm not gonna back out; I won't give up.  I promise.  So, you can stop worrying now." Ken gave the picture a weak smile before turning away from it, one tear traveling down his face.  In the picture, Omi smiled back at him.


	3. Omi

            The end of Omi's dart scratched noisily on the concrete.  The owner of said dart was staring up at the sky, not even conscious of the irritating sound he was producing.  Omi let his head rest heavily on the railing behind him.  Nothing had changed; it had been nearly three years and nothing had changed.  Weiss worked as seamlessly together now as they had three years ago.  Yet, Omi couldn't help but feel as if something had changed.  The blonde let his gaze drag down to the man in front of him.

            _'What gives you the right to decide if I die?  You're no better than me.  In fact, you probably deserve my fate more than I do.'_

            A sharp snap shot through the air as Omi broke the tip of his dart against the cement.  Tucking his knees to his chest, the blonde buried his head in his arms.  The wind picked up, giving his cheek a cold kiss.  Omi didn't even shiver.  He curled in upon himself as doubts he thought long buried resurfaced.  Why couldn't they leave him alone?  Why did these memories always come back?  Couldn't he live in peace?  The wind wrapped around the young man demanding his attention.  Slowly, he uncurled enough to lean back and stare at the sky.

            The night was beautiful.  The stars were bright, too.  Were the stars always so bright?  Omi didn't know; he hadn't looked at the stars in so long.  He and Ken used to always look at the stars.  Biting his lip, Omi reached up with a shaky hand to grab at the railing.  He leaned over the railing as soon as he was able to, breathing the cold air in deeply.  It stung but he still breathed in deeply again.

            Casually, the blonde glanced back over his shoulder to the man behind him _'You're no better than me.'  Sighing, Omi rested his head on his arms once more.  He watched as the broken end of the dart tapped rhythmically against the metal.  No, he wasn't any better.  He was worse.  He hurt people he knew and loved.  Didn't just hurt them, manipulated them.  A soft breath escaped the blonde as he held the dart out over the street.  The metal glinted gently in the half-light of the stars._

            Omi watched the weapon for a moment before turning his eyes back up to the stars.  Carelessly, the dart dropped from his hand.

            _The television lit the room eerily.  Heavily, Omi raised his hands and rubbed his eyes, intent on watching the game through.  It was half-time; they were currently showing replays of the first half.  Only a few of them were worth Omi's attention.  Shifting, the blonde pulled his knees to his chest allowing his chin to rest on his knees._

_            "And there they are!  The best team __China__'s had in years, I'd say.  They were looking at a bad season this year as well until their goalie was found.  Hidaka Ken, an unknown Japanese player has helped to bring…"_

_            Omi didn't pay any attention to what was being said.  He had heard it all; had seen every game and every news cast concerning the team.  So, of course he knew what was being said.  Letting out a big yawn, Omi rubbed his eyes even harder.  There was an amazing play by the opposing team.  A play which was stopped by Ken, of course.  The brunette hadn't lost his touch.  And Omi was glad; that was the way things should be._

_            "Ken-kun." The name was whispered, slipping out of Omi's mouth.  The room was suddenly brightened causing Omi to blink fiercely.  Youji appeared moments later, falling onto the couch beside the younger boy._

_            "What're you up for?" Youji rubbed at his face before placing an arm around Omi's shoulder.  Omi ignored the touch, intent on watching the game._

_            "Just watching the game.  You should get some sleep, Youji-kun.  I'll be up in a moment, I promise." Youji stayed with Omi.  Halfway through the second half, Youji spoke up again._

_            "So, what's happened?" Omi just shrugged._

_            "Who's winning?" A long moment passed before Omi replied._

_            "I don't know."_

_            "Do you know who's playing?"_

_            "It's __China__ versus someone else." Came the sullen response.  Youji let out a snort._

_            "So, you don't know anything.  Why are you even watching?" Before Omi could answer, the opposing team took a shot at the Chinese goal.  Ken dove and picked up the ball without any worry.  The camera zoomed in for a second to show the brunette yelling to move his teammates out.  As the camera moved away, Youji tightened his grip on Omi's shoulder._

_            " Ahhhh, I understand." Omi tensed under Youji's arm immediately.  Blue eyes darted from the TV to the older blonde as Omi tried to remain calm._

_            "Oh?  You understand what?" The question was barely more than a whisper.  Omi tried not to pay too much attention to the game now, least Youji should suspect anything._

_            "You miss them, don't you?" A kiss was placed on Omi's head, "Aya and Ken.  You miss them.  I understand; I do, too.  How long has it been since we've seen them?  Two years?"_

_            Omi swallowed thickly, keeping his attention on the TV, forcing himself not to blink, "Ah." He replied blandly._

_            "Well, why don't you write to them?  I'm sure they'd be glad to hear from ya.  Tell them I say hi, too." Silence filled the room until the game ended.  Omi watched the screen intently as the camera zoomed in once more, this time to show the Chinese team celebrating their victory.  The camera focused on Ken for a long moment as the broadcaster raved about the young prodigy.  Omi focused on Ken as he smiled freely, looking more beautiful than Omi had remembered._

_            The TV clicked off decisively and the screen went black.  Omi placed the remote on the coffee table and turned to wrap his arms around Youji.  _

_            "It doesn't matter anymore." The young boy responded, burying his head in Youji's chest.  Youji just wrapped his arms around Omi, saying that it was Omi's choice._

_            "It doesn't matter anymore." Omi repeated.  A single tear slid down the boy's face and disappeared into Youji's shirt._

            The railing dug into Omi's stomach as he leaned over the building.  He wasn't paying attention to the pain, however.  The stars twinkled merrily down on him as he stared back at them.  Tilting ever so slightly, Omi fell towards the ground.  He caught himself at the last moment and tilted the opposite way until his feet hit the cement.  Driven by something unknown, the blonde shut his eyes and slowly lifted one leg over the bar.

            For one, lucid moment, Omi stopped himself, straddling the railing as he looked at the street.  What was he doing?  Why was he even thinking about this?  But, as quickly as it came, the moment left.  All the doubts came back with twice the force as before.  Steadily, Omi lifted his other leg over the bar.  The wind twisted around his legs as he let them dangle over the edge.  With one short hop, the young man stood on the edge of the building; the only thing keeping him from falling was his hold on the bar behind him.

            Once more, he turned his attention to the stars as if asking them for an answer.

            "I'm tired; so tired of everything.  Of living, being Weiss.  Not seeing Ken.  Having to watch through entire games just for a glimpse of him.  Of lying to Youji-kun." He bounced on his arms for a moment, allowing himself to lean further over the edge, "I don't want to hurt anyone.  Not anymore, not when I don't have to.  I don't want to keep hurting Ken-kun."

            He sighed into the wind and turned his face down.  The scene below began to blur.  Omi felt his feet slip slightly and curl around the cement.  Would it hurt?

_                        How long had it been since they'd last seen each other?  A day?  Three months?  A year?  It seemed to have been so long ago, yet so close.  They stared at each other, unsure what to do, what to say.  There was a nervous tension surrounding them as the minutes stretched out.  It seemed as if Time itself had decided to stop for the two of them.  Or maybe it had chosen to speed up.  Either way, it felt like eternity in a moment when he spotted Ken._

_            Brown eyes flickered around the room, as if seeking the other's companion.  They, however, were alone.  Just the two of them.  No one else.  How long had it been since they'd been alone?  Together?  Blue eyes lowered in uncertainty.  It certainly had been a while since they'd last spoken; maybe enough time still hadn't passed.  Their actions seemed to agree to that fact; they needed more time, more time to heal and more time to think.  Ken cleared his throat and stepped forward, breaking Omi's reverie._

_            "Omi…it's, uhhh…been awhile." The brunette scratched his head nervously.  Omi shifted his feet oddly, neither stepping towards Ken nor pulling away.  There was an odd feeling in his chest, as if someone were pulling his lungs apart yet squishing them together at the same time._

_            "Yeah.  It has." It was a drawn out response, hesitant and sure at the same time; testing the air between them.  Omi twisted so he could look out the window, not sure if he was ready for this confrontation._

_            "Omi—" Ken started._

_            "Look, Ken…" Omi trailed off._

_            'I'm sorry.' They both finished silently._

_            Omi caught Ken's eye for one brief moment and all his fears were founded.  It was still there; unspoken lust, want, need, and perhaps even love.  A vow of protection.  But, all remained unsaid; and it made the space between the two of them all the more uncomfortable for Omi.  The shop bell tinkled merrily before any more harm could come._

_            "Where are you?  Omi?" Ken turned his back on the boy making Omi feel alienated.  Blonde hair hid blue eyes and the tears trapped in those eyes.  Smoke alerted Omi to another presence, one both wanted and invading.  The blonde glanced at the door slyly from the corner of his eye, waiting for the man he knew was looking for him, "Omi!  I was wondering where you went."_

_            Long arms wrapped around the smaller body as Omi was pulled into the man's embrace.  Omi's eyes were trained on Ken's back; Ken didn't turn around_.

            Gravel bounced dangerously down the side of the building as Omi leaned over the edge.  Reflexively, his hands tightened around the bar behind him as his arms bent.  The wind rushed through his hair and brought tears to his eyes.  The lights from the street blended together when Omi looked down; looking up at the sky, he got the same effect.  Everything looked the same.

            Static burst through Omi's thoughts for a moment before the voices of his teammates floated around his head.  Sighing, Omi pulled himself back and leaned against the railing before adjusting his com.

            "Bombay?  Bombay, ya there?  What's your status?" A gloved hand ran over the boys face before he answered.

            "Target down.  Mission complete." He breathed out.  Faintly, Omi thought he heard Ken's voice.  Pushing that thought away as wishful thinking, Omi moved to climb back over the railing.

            "Bombay, you okay?"

            "I'm fine, Balinese.  I'll meet you guys outside in ten minutes." As his leg hooked over the bar, Omi paused and looked down the side of the building.  It would be a lot quicker to just jump, he thought suddenly.  A lot quicker for many things.

            "Ok, baby.  You better be here soon, though.  I wanna see for myself that you're fine." Omi blushed at the comment, both implied and literal.  His grip tightened as his eyes shut tight.  Everyone had heard that.  Everyone.

            "Balinese!" The rebuke came off weak as Omi forced the word out of his mouth.

            "All right, all right.  I'll save it for later." There was an unmistakable wink in those words causing Omi to blush more.

            "Idiot." Omi muttered bitterly.  Ken could hear everything.  Omi's knees gave out and he crumpled to the ground; the only thing holding him up was his hold on the bar.  His stomach twisted horribly at the thought.  Ken had suffered so much because of Omi; he shouldn't have to listen to Youji's flirting as well.  Did Ken even know?  Omi wondered as he shut his eyes.

_                        Omi sighed into the night, his breath forming a small cloud before him.  He wrapped his arms more tightly about himself while searching for Ken.  The brunette had walked outside not too long ago; surely he didn't wander too far away.    Not long after that thought, Omi found Ken lying in the yard.  He was staring up at the sky, or, at least Omi thought Ken was.  Carefully, the blonde sat down beside his teammate.  Omi didn't know if Ken knew he wasn't alone._

_            "Why aren't you with Youji?" Omi started at the question, his head whipping around to face Ken.  Wearily, Omi rested his head on his arms, propping them on his knees.  He didn't take his eyes from Ken's face._

_            "Youji-kun's clubbing." Ken continued to stare at the sky and ignore Omi._

_            "Aren't you jealous that he's gone?  I'd think his hitting on women would bother you." Shrugging gracefully, Omi let his gaze drift away from Ken._

_            "I don't mind.  Youji-kun likes going out, and I don't like clubbing.  So, every once in a while, he goes out and I do what I want." Omi heard Ken snort as he pushed himself up.  Taking a chance, Omi scooted closer to the brunette.  After waiting a moment and not seeing any sign from Ken, Omi took his luck a step further and reached out to twine his fingers with Ken's.  Omi felt rather than saw Ken's head snap up and his eyes widen.  Hoping it was the right choice, Omi held onto his friend's hand._

_            "Omi…" Ken began, "Omi…does Youji love you?"_

_            "I know that Youji-kun cares for me." Omi replied carefully, not releasing his hold on Ken's hand, "He says he loves me; but I don't know."_

_            There was a strained silence for a moment before Ken spoke again, "Omi…do you love Youji?"_

_            The question was barely a whisper; just loud enough for Omi to hear._

_            "I care about Youji-kun." Blue eyes gazed at the soccer player for a moment, "But I don't love him."_

_            In one swift move, Omi leaned over and caught Ken in a quick kiss.  Ken didn't move for a moment, emboldening Omi.  Then, just as quickly as it began, the kiss ended; Ken pulled out of the kiss, turning away from Omi._

_            "I can't, Omi." Hurt, Omi asked Ken why, "Because you're with Youji.  It's wrong."_

_            Biting his lip, the blonde shifted closer to Ken, "Ken-kun, please.  This has nothing to do with Youji-kun."_

_            "Omi," Ken explained, "You're with Youji.  It has everything to do with him.  Don't you get it, Omi?"_

_            "I do get it.  And this is something that I want.  Right now, Youji-kun has nothing to do with it." Omi held Ken's gaze once he turned back around.  Even more cautiously than before, Omi leaned forward and brushed his lips against Ken's, "Please, Ken.  Just for tonight?  Do this for me?  Please?"_

_            An arm wrapped around the boy's waist, pulling him firmly against Ken's chest.  Omi gasped at the sudden movement but was quick to relax into the embrace.  There was a slight pause as Ken searched Omi's face, as if looking for the truth in his words.  Time stopped for the younger boy as Ken bent to give Omi a deep kiss._

_            "All right," The soccer player said after pulling away, "But just because you asked."_

            Footsteps echoed in the night distantly letting Omi know of the person's approach.  But he didn't move.  Warily, it seemed, the person approached Omi.  After a few moments of silence, Omi glanced briefly over his shoulder.

            "Hello, Ken-kun."

            "Uhh, hey…Omi." A small smile tugged at Omi's lips as he listened to the other assassin, "Omi, we need to go."

            There was a hesitancy to Ken.  Omi sensed it in his words.  Silence stretched between them and Ken began to shift uncomfortably.  Omi cocked his head to the side to listen, but still kept his gaze forward.

            "Omi," Ken cut in suddenly, his voice sounding harsh against the previous silence, "What are you doing?"

            The wind died down, leaving Omi only with the stars.  The gravel crunched under Ken's shoes as he moved forward.  In answer, Omi let his shoes slide over the edge of the roof some more.  It was a small action, but it was enough to make the brunette stop.  The noise from the street was a distant sound, isolating the two men even more.

            "The stars are bright tonight; did you notice, Ken-kun?" Omi bounced on his arms a bit, leaning further and further over the building, "Do you think they've always been this bright?  Will they shine brightly tomorrow?  I haven't noticed them recently; they haven't seemed to matter."

            The gravel crunched once more, closer to Omi this time, causing him to pause.  It was a minute before either of them spoke.

            "Omi, what are you talking about?" It was an effort for the blonde not to look at his friend.  Friend, his mind reiterated bitterly.  Omi's gloves creaked slightly under the pressure of his grip.

            "It's nothing." He replied, voice barely above a whisper.  However, he didn't move from the edge.

            _It was comfortable being back in Ken's arms.  For the first time in quite a while, Omi felt content, safe.  With a soft sigh, he buried a little further under the covers and Ken's arms.  They stayed like that for a few minutes, time slowly ticking by.  Lazily, Omi lifted his head and blinked at the clock on Ken's dresser.  __Three o'clock__.  Biting back a groan, Omi closed his eyes while sliding his fingers through Ken's._

_            "Ken," He started quietly, "I have to go now," Ken's lips brushed Omi's neck, making him shiver._

_            "Why?" Omi didn't face Ken, even when he shifted so he could see the boy's face._

_            "Youji-kun's usually home by four.  I need to get back."_

_            "Ah.  You're probably right." Yet, Ken made no move to let Omi go.  That didn't seem to bother Omi who was just as content to stay in Ken's arms for a moment longer.  Ken shifted behind Omi, pulling him closer.  The breath caught in Omi's throat as he felt himself pressed against Ken; their skin rubbing together and Ken's breath hot on Omi's neck._

_            "Omi," the brunette's voice was low and husky, but also pleading, "Would it make any difference if I said I still loved you?"_

_            Omi froze.  His eyes squeezed tightly shut as he fought against the tears he felt rising.  He didn't want to hear it; he didn't want Ken to feel that way anymore.  If he did, he would want to try and start a relationship again and quit the Chinese team.  Omi couldn't let that happen.  He wouldn't allow it.  He took a calming breath before continuing._

_            "Ken-kun, I'm with Youji-kun." Omi kept his eyes trained on the clock, "Tonight won't change anything.  After Weiss is disbanded again, you'll go back to __China__ and I'll go back home with Youji-kun."_

_            The bed sagged as Ken laid back down, defeated.  His arms slid out from around Omi leaving him cold and vulnerable.  Silently, Omi pulled the rest of the way out of Ken's grip.  Hesitantly, Omi turned around to face Ken, only to find the brunette staring out the window.  Not giving his actions a second thought, the blonde leaned over to surprise Ken with a passionate kiss.  It stopped as quickly as it had begun and Omi was already reaching for his clothes before Ken could say anything._

_            "Omi," Ken's voice stopped the boy, "Omi, I do still love you.  You know that, right?"_

_            Omi's hand rested on the doorknob; he was looking at the ground, slightly turned to Ken.  Swallowing thickly, Omi turned the knob and opened the door slowly, "I know." And then he closed the door.  It rattled softly as Omi leaned against it, covering his face with his hands.  He struggled against the tears and sobs, intent on not breaking down.  Once he was sure he was fine, Omi took one last shuddering breath and closed his eyes._

_            "And I love you, too." Pushing off of Ken's door, the boy headed back to the room he and Youji shared.  Youji would be home soon.  It wouldn't be good to be seen there._

"Omi, please…" The gravel crunched as Ken inched forward whenever it seemed safe.  Omi, on his part, ignored Ken's presence.  Gloved hands gripped the railing more tightly as the boy's slim body leaned further off the edge of the building.  A gentle breeze fluttered through blonde bangs as Omi closed his eyes and bounced on his arms slightly, as if testing his body's weight, "Omi, please listen to me.  Come back, please."

            Wide eyes turned on the brunette, causing him to stop moving.  The two boys stared at each other in amazement.  One of Omi's hands released the bar as he dangerously twisted on one foot, the other soaring through the air.  A chill swept through Omi as he watched Ken stare.  There was so much naked emotion in the older man's eyes; it hurt Omi to know that he caused that.  Shaking his head to clear it, Omi smiled serenely as he turned to look at the moon.

            "I'm tired, Ken." The sky swirled together in a black mess as Omi's eyes unfocused, "I can't think of another way to say it.  But, I'm tired.  He was right, Ken-kun.  I don't deserve…" Omi stopped himself, shaking his head sorrowfully.  Despair filled eyes turned back to Ken, fixing the brunette with a desperate plea, "I just…I want to rest."

            Omi leaned back, letting his fingers loosen their hold on the bar.  A choked sob escaped Ken's throat as he stepped forward, one hand stretched out to grab the boy.  Omi paused, catching himself at the last moment.

            "Omi, please don't do this.  Don't leave me.  I'll be here for you, you don't have go.  Please.  I'll support you, I promise!" Tears blurred the blonde's vision as his eyes locked onto Ken's, the message he never said passing between them in that one glance.  Wistfully, Omi smiled back at Ken, tears trailing down his face.

            "I'm sorry, Ken." And he let go.  Leaning back ever so slightly, Omi felt gravity take hold of him and pull him down.  He stretched out his arms, closing his eyes as the feeling of being free passed through him.  Distantly, he was aware of Ken yelling for him; only then did Omi feel a pang of regret.  A moment later, his free fall was stopped as his body jerking suddenly.  Startled out of his reverie, Omi stared up at the sky only to find Ken leaning over the edge precariously.

            "Please, Omi.  Don't go." Omi bowed his head as if in acceptance and Ken felt his heart lighten.  Fighting against his feelings, Omi looked back up.

            "Ken-kun, please let me go." Bright eyes bored into Ken's, causing him to catch his breath.  All the pain Omi had been holding onto and keeping hidden inside shone in his eyes.  Ken turned away, unable to look at the blonde anymore.  But Omi continued to stare at the older boy, hoping that he would let go.  Time stretched between them, holding them prisoner in that one moment.  Finally, Ken looked back down at Omi, tears shining brightly in his dark eyes.   Swallowing thickly, Ken nodded.   A small smile graced Omi's face as he closed his eyes.

"I do love you, Ken." …and Ken let go.


	4. End

            Ken stared up at the night sky, not really seeing anything.  There was a wind; he was pretty sure there was at least.  His eyes stung, so there had to be a wind.  How long he had been up there, been staring at the sky, he didn't know.  He couldn't move.  Even if he had wanted to, the action was impossible.  So, instead, he stayed where he was, resting limply against the roof's railing and staring up at the sky.  It wouldn't be long until someone found him.  Aya and Youji would wonder where he was; where Omi was.  Squeezing his eyes shut, Ken banged his head against the railing and forced himself to swallow around the lump in his throat.

            "Omi!  Ken!  Are you up here?  Omi!!"  Youji.  It had to be Youji.  Ken blinked up at the stars wondering, vaguely, if they had shone so brightly a month ago.  The sound of heavy footsteps brought the brunette back to reality, though he refused to turn his gaze from the stars, "Omi?!"

            "Is not here." Ken answered blandly, still not moving.  His bugnucks slid in and out of the glove with ease, hissing softly.  There was the sound of gravel twisting under boots as Youji scoured the roof for the younger blonde.  Another pair of softer, evenly spaced footsteps joined Youji's frantic ones.  Still, Ken didn't look at them.

            "Where is he?" Aya asked.  Ken could feel the red head's gaze, as if he hoped to pull the answer from Ken's mind.  A harsh, slightly-hysterical laugh forced its way out of Ken's throat.  Disturbed by the sound, the two eldest Weiss stopped and turned to face their companion.

            "Gone.  He's gone." The stars twinkled merrily down on the scene.  Did Omi notice the stars back then?  Ken would have to ask him.

            "What do you mean, 'gone'?" Youji nearly growled, stalking menacingly towards Ken.  Finally, Ken let his head fall down allowing him to stare at the two men; he still didn't see them.

            "Gone.  He fell.  Did you know falling could be beautiful?" The bugnucks hissed once more, snapping out ready for use.

            "He fell?  What do you mean he fell?" Youji's eyes widened and the sunglasses that were constantly perched on his nose fell off. "Ken!!  He fell where?"

            Blinking owlishly at the blonde, Ken tilted his head as if to ask what Youji meant. "Off the building."

            The moment froze as both Aya and Youji digested what Ken had told them.  Breath catching in his throat, Youji turned and nearly tripped down the stairs.  Vacantly, Ken watched the man leave.  Was he hoping to catch Omi?  But, Omi wanted to fall.  He shouldn't be caught; he looked beautiful falling.  Slowly, painstakingly calmly, Aya strode towards his fallen teammate.  Ken blinked up at the red head, the bugnucks clicking back into concealment.

            "Ken," the gravel crunched as Aya knelt down, violet eyes boring into Ken's brown ones, "Why did Omi fall?"

            Ken let his head dip slightly. 

"Because…I let go." Was the hoarse response.

            He could almost see Aya's eyes narrow, his grip tightening on his katana.

            "Why did you let go?" The threat behind the words wasn't close to subtle.  Ken, however, didn't flinch as he brought his head back up, looking directly into the other man's eyes.

            "Because….he asked me to." The surprise Aya felt was evident on his face.  Ken didn't care, though.  With some difficulty, Ken pulled himself up to his feet, using the railing for support.  Aya didn't move as Ken began to walk away clumsily, following Youji's earlier steps.  The stars twinkled merrily calling the brunette's attention back to them.  Pausing, Ken addressed Aya without taking his eyes from the stars.

            "Guess we should get going; mission's over.  Besides," The gravel crunched once more as Ken began walking, "I have to return to China next week.  There really is nothing left for me here."


End file.
